Here we go up, up, up... and away!

[25yearsmlc]

Never forget, when the burden gets too heavy, to turn over all your pain and anger and really the whole M, to God. Let Him carry it! And don't go taking it back the next day.

Did you ever find Marianne Williamson's books on Anger or "Return to Love"? They helped me a lot with forgivness exercises. And recall that forgivness is NOT about letting your h off the hook (as your post suggests you did with others) I am referring to the type of forgiveness you give yourself, the letting go and letting God, etc


While He's carrying it, you'll get some time to rest and heal and gain some clarity. I feel for your mil. What a drag to know that her son's idiocy means she sees less of a beautfiul grandchild.

HEY IF ANY of US are in the shoes of your mil someday, and our son or daughter wants to be a walk away, let's remember how it feels to be the LBSer and HELP OUT....(OMG I'd take my boy out in the back yard and do some 'splainin'....)

When my h was living away from home for nearly 2 years, to my knowledge, his only sibling and his mother never once called to say hi to the kids unless h was here. Not once. Missed birthdays. I don't get why although ONCE I did let my bil have it. He asked how the kids were and I said "fine, no thanks to you" and he hung up. Um, that's what is called NOT being effective on my end...but why no calls before that? Maybe b/c if h wasn't here, I suppose mil was too conflict avoidant or clueless? (NEVER underestimate the ability of the WAS or their family, to seem really clueless. Not mean, or intentionally cruel, but utterly clueless and thoughtless. Seriously...)

My MIL died this past spring. Our older kids spoke at her funeral. My d21 said many good things, but she also mentioned the sad part that she did not really know her grandmother. That shocked my h and his brother. Isn't that odd? I mean, WTH? Of course she didn't know her grandmother! Somehow my h and his only sibling believed that their mother was "close" to our kids!

They were Her only grandchildren but in reality, she never did a damn thing to see them or connect with them, if it inconvenienced her. She visited us once in our home, in 19 years. The rest of the time, WE did the travelling at our expense, All 5 of us (this is before she was sick too).

MIL did not have a R with our children without her son (my h) around. Honestly, If he and I didn't reconcile & had she lived, I wonder if she'd ever have seen them. Bet not unless WE made ALL the effort. So odd. My bil came over to me at the funeral and said "you know 'mil' really LOVED the kids and would be so surprised if they didn't know that."......( I recall thinking, 'is he kidding? Why would mil be surprised?) "

It's mostly my mil's loss. Our kids have 34 first cousins on my side, as I'm from a large family and my mother and h's father, have good R's with our kids.

I hope the R with your mil and your d is a good one, for both their sakes.
Maybe the R between them and your h can be separated, you know?
Enjoy your low stress T-day. H is a physician and missed 9 out of 11 of our first T-days with kids. They never noticed b/c they got used to us eating on the Friday after. NO biggie. MUCH LESS stressful, that's for sure.
Keep on keeping on.