She's in MLC, but I was weak. Now what?

[crushednstuck]

When does this get easier?

^^^I know this question has few acceptable answers. And I probably already know what they are. I guess it's the verbal equivalent of throwing your hands up in disgust. But E, I appreciate you answering. I'd forgotten your sitch still involves a W in close proximity.

I think what's tough is trying to figure why someone or something defines me. And how to tear away from those labels. When stripping away "husband", "father", "son", "brother", "employee" and "teammate" what am I really left with? I realize I don't have any idea how to begin that process.

You are correct about having too many thoughts regarding the OM. But I took alot of the Old Testament stuff at face value. Punishment follows misbehavior. Maybe it's the Tuetonic adherence to following the rules that I get from my German genes. I honestly get pissed off when people break the rules - strangers even. You can only imagine my thoughts when it's someone I know.

One of my favorite proverbs is Japanese, "the nail that sticks up gets hammered down". I'm waiting for karma to drop the hammer on some folks. But focusing on this is not healthy or productive.

Ironically, I don't feel OM is my competition. But for other reasons. And I actually said this to W months ago before beginning this process. He is beneath me (literally and figuratively). He has no code, no character, no honor. He destroyed his own family and has started on mine. No it's not totally his fault, but she would have one less option if he were not around.

And W got pissed I wouldn't compete with him for her affections. I couldn't believe what I'd heard. As if I was supposed to cave in his skull with a rock and drag her off by the hair. This was an attractive idea at first.

BE YOURSELF!

^^^This is proving to be the most difficult instruction to follow.