Kitty, I want to commend you for your courage in facing these tough issues. You started out life with a handicap with all of this stuff that has happened to you. While handicaps certainly are challenging, they create great opportunities. I am a big fan of Rudy Ruettiger, the real guy from the movie "Rudy". Once I went to see him and he was on the speaking bill with a man by the name of John Foppe. John was born without arms. His attitude is inspirational--- that's why he's now an inspirational speaker. His handicap crested a big opportunity for him to inspire others. Many do not understand these relationship oriented handicaps but we here understand. I was at Michelle's Guerilla Divorce Busting speech in Washington at the 2002 Smartmarriages convention. She said something that applies here. She said that therapists often tell people about all the statistics against the reconciliation of their marriage. She emphacised that the statistics come true IF the people don't change, emphacizing the positive and upsetting the statistics. My point is that I think you come to the board with a very positive attitude to upset the "conventional" thinking that the "solution" to your problem is to get a divorce and make the pain go away for today. I was very fortunate. I grew up in a normal family where I was supported and praised. I learned early that a positive attitude often makes the seemingly inpossible come true. I think that beating the low self esteem thing will beat the divorce culture. Can you do it - YES. In the early '60s I learned this poem from a book on the great running back, Jim Brown. It goes:
If you think you are beated, you are, If you think that you can't, you won't If you like to win but don't think you can, it's almost a cinch you won't. If you think you'll lose, you're lost, For out in the world you'll find, Success begins with a fellows will, It's all in a state of mind. Life's battles don't always go to the stronger or faster man, But sooner or later the one who wins is the fellow who thinks he can.
