I think its over help pls

[Bworl]

All the focus is on what SHE is doing and what YOU want.


Ass backwards my friend.


And I'm not completely buying the "she always said things were fine" routine. I've been there. It's the quick and easy answer when we get caught blindsided and have our hearts ripped out.


You were her husband. Tell me that when you first fell in love you relied on asking her to tell if she was unhappy or not. Go ahead, try and tell me that.


She's sending you messages right now. They say

...leave me alone
...I want to go my own way
...I don't want to be here right now


And you stand in opposition to all those messages, wanting to convince her that you can change. The message you are actually sending is that you don't respect what she says to you, her feelings are not as important as yours, and what you want should trump what she wants.


I'm not suggesting affairs and leaving a marriage are a choice that people should be allowed to make without consequence. But you're responding to her wrong decisions with words that reinforce her dissatisfaction with you.



You don't make yourself attractive to another by sending the message that you are more important than they are.


More importantly, all this focus on her and winning her back is energy that should be focused on you and the things you CAN change.



It's not the magical cure, but it is the most effective use of your time right now.


If she leaves, she leaves. You can't stop her even though you want to.



Put your efforts where they can bear some fruit.


Blessings,

Bill