Oh, Cat. Thank you so much for your words. It's funny - the last text I sent after he said he didn't want to talk about it anymore was "You have my word". I have never said that to him about all of this. But you know, I meant it. I am so tired of living in his head, assuming I know this and that or that I know how things are going to turn out. I want my life back. And I know the only one to give it back to me is myself.
One of my big fears is that I will never get over this if it doesn't work out and that I will hang on much longer than I should. I had two other serious relationships prior to meeting H. And in both of these relationships, I hung on much too long. It took me years to get over both. But I was younger then. Had a bit more time. I'm scared of being without him. And that says a lot about where I am functionally. He was going to be my forever man. Divorce is not in my value system - but since I am his third wife, I should have assumed it was in his.
I look up to you and hope to gather the strength that you have - and I hope to be able to stay or depart, whatever the case may be, lovingly.
M9+ T 11+ Me42 H44 2 kids under 5 IlYBNILWY -3/10 A discovered late 8/10 H moved out early 9/10 - back two weeks later "Taking a Break" - H moves out 1/2/10
