Disbelief, have you got either one of Michelle's books? It will really help you understand the techniques that are discussed on this board if you have read at least one of the books. You seem to still be pursuing your W. While I understand it and believe me, I did it too, pursuing her with all your R talk is only driving her further away. Whatever makes them do what they do, also makes them see you in a negative light no matter what you do or say. Only time can counteract that. She is going to keep rewriting your history to justify what she wants to do. She has to do that or she won't be able to do it.
You have to work from a place that can let her go. In other words, detachment. It is one of the hardest things you will ever do, but if she chooses to go, you have to let her go. You get to choose how you act from here on out. Make sure that you act with the utmost integrity so your children can be proud of you.
Work on GAL activities and 180's. But don't explain it to your W, just let her see the results. Take your kids out for an activity. Tell your W you have plans so she needs to watch the kids at this time but don't tell her what your going to do. If she asks, be vague. The meetup groups are a great way to meet other adults who have similar interests.
If you feel like engaging in an R talk with your W, come here and journal. That usually helps get it out and clear your head. Most of us have been where you are. We want to see you succeed. You are strong and will get through it no matter how it turns out.
By the way, on the subjuect of exposing your W. It sounds like you are already working with OM's W. Beyond that, I wouldn't lie for her but don't go around telling everyone. People are only empathic for so long and then they'll go back to their own lives. You'll still end up right where you are.
