Thanks, Cat. I know you are right. Yes - I bargain with myself all of the time. And I want to just kick myself after I snoop - however it is that I do it. I just sent him a text basically letting him know why I thought he might be with her and apologizing for opening the can of worms again. This is my fear - why apologize to him? Does it not make more sense for him to apologize to me? Sigh. Yup. I know it does but I know that is not going to happen. Everything is my fault in his eyes. I have been demonized and history has been rewritten. I'm so scared each time I do this and confront him that I will lose him forever. Scared, scared, scared. It's a horrible feeling - and I'm sick to my stomach most of the time (hence the 20 pound weight loss in 3 months). I was said to just read that H is your STBXH - I just figured he had come to his senses and you had worked it out.
M9+ T 11+ Me42 H44 2 kids under 5 IlYBNILWY -3/10 A discovered late 8/10 H moved out early 9/10 - back two weeks later "Taking a Break" - H moves out 1/2/10
