In the last few years I've been insecure with him, and that has made me less willing to see his side and to instead think "if he loved me, he'd agree my feelings were more important."
This is a thought that I understand very well.
Truth, just because someone loves you, doesn't mean that they are always going to do things that you think are right and they aren't always gonna do things the way that you want them to. That does NOT mean that they don't love you.
This is something that I still struggle with once in a while.
Then I have to remind myself to look at it differently. Instead of seeing what, to me, glaringly screams "you fool, he doesn't really love you, or he would just do ABC"...
That can then lead you down a road of monsters in your head...
I have to turn it around and see all of the things that are done that show me love. The things that are present daily and are constant reminders of what his love for me looks like.
And then it is much easier to say to myself "shut up monsters, he is a human being too"
While you are not in a place that it might be easy to see the love right now, you can find the loving things he did in the past and that might also help to dispell some of your anger and frustration.
Originally Posted By: CajunRose
I am trying very hard to see things from his perspective right now and have tried to really analyze what he tells me about our problems and about what he wants now. I'm trying not to speak as quickly so that I have time to think about what he says; or if I do speak quickly and later can see his POV then I try to apologize and explain what I understood of what he said later.
Maybe take a little more time, and really do your best to not speak quickly so that you don't have to apologize down the road.
That could help to avoid more conflict.
Additionally, you are two different people. Sometimes we have to agree to disagree.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
