Thanks, Cat. I'm in the process of reading your older posts. I see that you were not dealing with an A - as I mentioned before, my last empty ultimatum resulted in his contacting his ex-wife. I actually think he will see her today - a family member is in the hospital (will recover) and he felt the need to go to the town the ex lives in to see this person. The writing seems to be on the wall. I know I'm not supposed to snoop. I know I'm not supposed to question him. But it hurts. It's so very difficult. How could this man - this man who I loved and who has loved me - be such a different person now?! How do I maintain my composure when he comes home?!
Rob - I actually did look at the meetup website. Unfortunately, I live in a pretty small community - my choices were groups with political affiliations and a group exploring the paranormal. So I think Im going to pass on those for now . But last Saturday I did decide to go to church - something I hadn't done in a long time. My H was telling me earlier in the day that I should get out of the house (have been confined due to sick kids for over a week) and I told him I was planning on it and was probably going to see a concert. Later that day, he asked questions about where I was going and who I was going with. I eventually shared with him that I had received an invitation to meet with some friends from my divorce/separation support group (I started attending this group when H initially moved out and chose to stay with it as it is quite helpful and I enjoy the people) to listen to the concert. I did that and chose to stay for the service afterwards and was glad that I did. I felt loved there.
I also wanted to ask about wearing my wedding ring. H took his off months ago. Because I still feel committed to making this work, I feel I should still wear some symbol of my commitment. As of late, I have been wearing the band he gave me after our twins were born - so it's not actually an engagement or wedding ring. But I'm still wearing it on my wedding ring finger. Any thoughts?
The last thing I want to share is that I continue to have a tough time not being affectionate toward H. It's not sexual in nature. And sometimes I don't even know I'm doing it (woke up this morning spooning him - habit I've had for years). He has also been affectionate. I know this means nothing. It goes against my nature not to be affectionate. It just confuses me because I'm not sure this aligns with the last resort technique - heck - not even sure I'm even doing the LRT yet. This is all so maddening!!!
Thanks
M9+ T 11+ Me42 H44 2 kids under 5 IlYBNILWY -3/10 A discovered late 8/10 H moved out early 9/10 - back two weeks later "Taking a Break" - H moves out 1/2/10
. But last Saturday I did decide to go to church - something I hadn't done in a long time. My H was telling me earlier in the day that I should get out of the house (have been confined due to sick kids for over a week) and I told him I was planning on it and was probably going to see a concert. Later that day, he asked questions about where I was going and who I was going with. I eventually shared with him that I had received an invitation to meet with some friends from my divorce/separation support group (I started attending this group when H initially moved out and chose to stay with it as it is quite helpful and I enjoy the people) to listen to the concert. I did that and chose to stay for the service afterwards and was glad that I did. I felt loved there.