Hope - thank you, I havnt even thought to see it from that point of view, of just making sure they feel love, that's all thats important - you are right I'll be doing that now I think Thank u so much for your encouragement...it really helps...every little bit helps
Albu - ok this too I didnt realize I was doing...focusing on his negative to make myself feel better - not exactly detaching with love...I keep forgetting he's in pain, and when I do think of it, it really does help me feel even MORE ok...so I'll need to keep that at the front of my thoughts also...
I don't want to end up bitter and venomous for constantly pointing out all the negatives - you are right
H came in to bath S, still unannounced, just arrives...not too sure what to make of this, I was wondering if it maybe had to do with my response to his, he said he looked forward to coming to the house at night, so I said I liked his company..maybe it was that - he feels more welcome.
Anyway, he was still a bit down, but not as much as this morning. Still looks a bit glum.
Put two and two together and figured out that this must be the week he is entertaining another woman he said he 'owed a holiday' after she took him holidaying from her city.
Thats why he's taken the week off. I think he now knows I know this. You dont have to be einstein..
At bathtime he mentioned something about his business, something good - a good prospect, and I said - Wow - that must have you excited then? He said 'No, nothing gets me excited at the moment, having a really hard time'. He looked like the ground was going to swallow him up, his face was practically hanging on the ground I felt awful for him, just wanted to hug him I tried to ask more and sympathise a bit, but he changed the subject so I went with the flo.
He also said he'd be going camping for a couple days - so asked if I could take S to school for those days. I said ofcourse, no problem.
And he also wants to have S on Saturday, problem is I feel a bit yuck about it will be with this ow also.
I didnt say no, because H has hardly seen S, and he's leaving for overseas again on Sunday, so didnt feel right to keep S away from his dad because I felt weird about it S has to have daddy time..I'm pretty sure this woman is nothing serious at the moment, but hey, I'm not willing to bet ANY money on any of my assumptions anymore....
Feeling good still. Still Accept...accept...accept.
I will have love again...I will be happy again...this too shall pass
If he's not the one...someone else IS!!! Or better damn better be! God's sorting it out for me
I'll be doing that now I think 
I felt awful for him, just wanted to hug him 