Thank you for the support. I have written her a letter about what is going on inside me and what I have learned about myself. MC thought if it was just about me, it would not come across persuing. I have decided not to give it to her and trust the DBing. It is hard though. I want to talk to my best friend,my wife.
Good, now run your monitor through the shredder....
Originally Posted By: habitacker
I guess maybe I have doubts about her being a waw. Everything says she is, but I still have small doubts. She is a really special person. What I mean is, she is not like most. What I am getting at is what if she is an exception to the rule? Or not a waw?
It doesn't really matter too much right now. The work that needs to be done is on yourself. Detach, GAL, and really look at yourself.
Originally Posted By: habitacker
She is not the type to come to me to talk. She is not the type to go to anyone and talk. Nobody knows about our situation. She has said her private life is nobody else's business. I know this is a lot of the reason we are in this situation now. She is very hard to communicate with. Actually, she is easy to communicate with but she will not initiate it. This really scares me because she may want to talk but wont.
To be honest, you really don't know what she is capable of right now. You never thought she could or would do this. It usually doesn't pay dividends to assume you know anything about her.
That much can cause you to "assume" your way through conversations with her, and hinder your validation of her feelings.
Originally Posted By: habitacker
I understand the waw needs tons of patience from me. But what if she is waiting or needing a small push. I know this goes against everything but is it a possibility, understanding my wife, she would not come to talk to anyone very easily about any thing personal.
You answered your own question there....
Originally Posted By: habitacker
Can I tell her if she ever wants to talk about anything i am listening?
You can show her...
Originally Posted By: habitacker
Can I ask her if she would like to know what I have discovered about myself?
After the subsequent removal of your tongue....
Before that ?
Not a good idea.
Originally Posted By: habitacker
Can I thank her for getting my attention through such a courageous act. Thank her for not tolerating my unloving behavior any longer and sending me on a course of learning to be a better husband and father.
Sure, just not right now. You can, just not an act that you move you closer to your goals. Most WA's will view this as a lame attempt to manipulate your way back in the door.
Originally Posted By: habitacker
What I am really asking is, if she needs a little push, how ever so slightly could i do this?
DB.....
Work toward your goals... Work on yourself... GAL... 180's... Stop going down cheeseless tunnels...
