This is a great thread. For the past year I have been working on improving myself to try and get my wife to reconsider and start to work on rebuilding the marriage. I have only recently come to realize that as per the information on the forums, I need to make these changes for myself and not her. I now know that I never want to go back to being that person that my wife and kids had to live with up until last year. Whether or not my wife wants to ever reconsider her position is up to her. All I know is that I am a far better person than I was previously and this time next year I will be a better person than I am today.
I too have wondered about asking her all sorts of questions about the relationship etc. Based on what I have experienced over the past year, there is no benefit in doing this. If and when she is ready, she will initiate the discussion.
In the interim, hang in there and be patient. The last 12 months have been the most painful of my entire life, but each day does get a bit better. I get through each day by approaching it as an opportunity to keep improving on who I am as a human being. Until you can honestly say that you love yourself and who you are, you cannot expect anyone else to love you.
