I am off to have, what I believe to be the final meeting with the lawyers to try and finalize the terms of my divorce.
I ask that all of you pray for me and my W. I am a little nervous, which is understandable but I also feel a great sense of peace right now.
Interesting, today I spoke to my MIL, who remains faithful that the R between my W and I will eventually come full circle and that we will reconcile. I explained to her that I have totally let my W go. That I am living my life for me and that I wish that my W find the happiness in her life that she is desperately searching for. My MIL understood. She spoke to my W yesterday to ask if my W would be upset that she invite me over for Turkey day. Apparently, my W is quite upset. To quote my MIL…”she is really angry Eric, I have never seen her this angry. It almost like if she could strangle you she would”. I explained to my MIL, that I have not seen this anger and that IMO, the anger she feels is a result of not looking inside herself.
So after I hung up, I thought….Anger? WTF, I have not seen any of it. Isn’t she happy with OM? I mean really, I have stayed out of her way. It make no sense. I am giving her what she wants. Thank God that before I spent too much time dwelling on the convo I was able to snapped my as* back to reality. I realize now more than ever that she is still in a crisis. A crisis that nothing I do can fix. She is still searching for answers the questions she has. OM probably cannot answer them – I guess. No one can. It is sad. She has a long way to go. She is still hurt and cannot get over her own anger. 15 months of doing her best to break me and she still feels anger. WOW. The anger she feels towards herself continues to be projected at me. The only thing I can do is to get out of her way. I feel for her. Maybe one day she will see me in a different light. I hope for my children’s sake she will. Maybe one day she will understand….maybe she will realize that at the end of the day….I truly love her.
As I sit here typing this….I want to say….thank you to my W. Thank you. I refuse to sit here and wallow in pity, pain and sorrow. The women I married would not have wanted me to. Thank you Wifey. Thank you.
Gvien my MIL comments about my W anger. I ask that everyone pray for my W. I hope that she finally gets to a place where she realizes who she really is. I pray that she let go of the anger and begin to live her life the way she really wants to. Not the way that others will tell her to live it. I pray that she find happiness in her life. I pray that she realizes that BOTH of us played a role in this. I pray that she realize the person that she has become. I pray for the family.
So off I go to the lawyers probably another couple of grand given to them instead of my kids, instead of us. Wish me luck guys.
I also want to take a moment to thank everyone and these boards. Take a moment to reflect on where I am and who I have become.
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
