But why help her out with figuring out the ramifications of her hurting you and the kids? I mean it seems to me to be a bit much. Like she has no clue that you are hurting from HER actions, and that HER discomfort with HER choices isn't really your problem?? As for her guilt about the kids...gee, I don't know, some people call it having a conscience. At those moments, when she feels that pain, is a good time to NOT speak out with a parental voice. Let her inner voice tell her what's going on. Back off big time. MAYBE Even say "I don't know how to help you cope with the pain your choices are causing YOU b/c I am dealing with my own pain from them..." I'm not sure but see if the others feel the same...coach? Mach? What do you guys think of her telling him about HER concerns for security AND how her children will feel when she leaves them??
Much what I was thinking too J....
As you know though, you have to be careful HOW you present that message.
There is tact, then there is just plain being an ass.
Being an ass is pretty easy to do , and usually is met with the " Same old, Same old again" mentality from the WA.
Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell, and they look forward to the trip.
While this is part of her journey, to feel these things, you cannot be the reason she does. Speaking up to protect yourself is a must, as long as you do it for the right reasons, and you come from a good place.
I do believe that you need to distance yourself and stand on better ground before you engage in too much interaction with her...
That comes from the work you have begun on yourself.
