Pie's Story - he's comfortable again

[pie]

Thanks Zen I just don't know how to tell him WHY his dad is not here. So far I have been lying (smack me now), saying that daddy is working hard, and he has to live close to his work I guess thats worng, but for some reason it feels even more wrong to say 'because daddy doesnt want to live in the same house as mommy anymore'... It feels awful to tell a child of 4 that I'm not sure it gets easier or more 'ok' to tell them as they get older tho either...so I guess it has to come out sometime...

Just dont want to damage this little boy

H came in to fetch S this morning...COMPLETE opposite from yesterday mornings behaviour (He was in a VERY good mood yesterday morning, practically bouncing off the walls), and this morning came in sat down, and barely even could concentrate on what S was saying....his head was very much elsewhere, and he looked very sad...distracted....ashamed even...dont know...

Probably knows that he should be telling me stuff, or telling me to move on but cant do it and feels guilty....

I asked when his trip dates were, so he gave them to me and said he was going to phone his boss today to find out if he 'really HAD to go'. Funny thing is he thinks I cant see through it...its just more superflous cover up information....

At least I've already started accepting now, so its not that hard to digest, i can still keep a smile on my face Which I managed pretty well

He looked awfully sad tho

Everytime I start feeling sorry for him, and want to make it better for him, and just love and hug and squeeze him better, I remember the lies, and it kindof brings me back to reality...

So much love to give him, what a waste....someone else will be getting my love someday....lucky man

Have a busy day ahead - work, S has swimming lessons, then to gym later and to BGF for our daily chinwag.

Hope today stays ok...