Hope - thanks , It seems we are in very similar places right now... My heart breaks whenever S talks about daddy, but I keep a smile on my face and stay upbeat...trying so hard not to let any of this effect him, but he's very intelligent for his age, and picks up on everything and anything....I think I'll hunt that book down.
I'm feeling a little like H's babysitter at the moment, and its grating me a bit to be truthful
Albu - you are SO wise. And SO right. I should just accept that there is stuff going on, and I might never know all of it. But it IS happeneing, I should stop trying to find out EXACTLY what it is. Hes being far too evasive and secretive over the past couple days...I KNOW what it means, so I should just accept it.
My New mantra...accept...accept....accept.
Do I want to stand for the marriage...I don't know anymore Memories of the man i used to know are being muddied(is that a word) by the behaviour of this new man. Maybe this is who is is now...maybe the MLC has brought about a new man.
SO...I think its time to start the steps to my own life seperate from him now.
Update on H...
Found out from my BGF (her H works for my H), that H has taken the week off work. He never mentioned this to me (secretive again - he usually tells me this sort of thing)
On top of this he had a very round about way of telling me that he was going to UK again next week. He usually just says 'btw I'm going to be in xyz next week'(red flag since overseas trips seem to be synonymous with OW's now). This week he said 'BA flights are 50% cheaper than our local airline, can u belive it?' and 'I'm worried this trips going to be a waste of time, boss wants to just propose some new business things'. and then he trailed off when I started showing interest, and he quickly changed the subject.
So he wants to avert suspicion, by giving a few details, but doesnt want to go into too much detail incase he stuffs up.
Then yesterday BGF says that she didnt want to mention it before but there was a woman at work that her H thought was a bit suspicious. He would often see her on H skype , and she would often visit his office and spend hours behind closed doors with him.
So there we have it....FAR to many little weird red flags to ignore...so just time to accept it.
And to just ignore his 'honest and open hearted' email about how he had classified his initial dating as 'acting out'. And maybe he's just a despicable human being and I deserve better.
He's clearly still up to stuff and lying to my face.
Accepting it from today onwards
So the thing here is now, that I have to change some things - ie I don't want him to just pop over whenever it suits him, I want us to organise alternate weekend with S...is my S too young for that you think? He's 4.5years old, and very intellegent for his age (6 year old intellegence reported by school)
