Here we go again!

[bethann]

OK, measurable.

I would like him to talk to me instead of at me.
I would like him to have one conversation in the next two weeks that didn't involve him screaming, belittling or harassing me.

dbmod -- give me some ideas please, because he doesn't want to talk to me, let alone smile at me. What would be a small measurable step for me being that he truly hates everything about me right now. And, I can't just back off. Today he came to ask me if the kids could sleep over at his house this weekend. I told me that what happened last weekend (his leaving them at home alone overnight) couldn't happen again and that he could have called me and I would have gone and got them. He freaked and started screaming that it was none of my f'ing business what he does with his kids. So, I get doing a 180, but I can't allow him to put my children's safety at risk. So, I told him he couldn't have the kids if he couldn't promise me that he wouldn't leave them alone again. So, we have conflict. I'm trying to avoid conflict, but I don't think there's any choice here. So, how can I 7 step and expect a small measureable change when we have so much conflict??

I just keep asking myself why I even want him back and to be truthful, I can't come up with a good answer. I love him, I do, but he has done nothing but lie and cheat on me for over 17 years. I am so bloody tired! I deserve so much better than that!

cat04 - what do I want for me? Peace - I'm tired of fighting and I know you're going to say stop fighting, but some things need to be discussed and he can't seem to talk without being mean and horrible. And what can I control -- only my actions -- I get that, but even when I'm calm, he still is screaming and belittling. He doesn't fight fair -- he goes straight for the jugular. What can I do to affect some small measurable change right now?? Really, I'm asking, what can I do??

It all just seems so hopeless and pointless right now!!