She's in MLC, but I was weak. Now what?

[crushednstuck]

W talks to the kids over the phone last night after, obviously, a few glasses of wine. I know she spent the weekend with OM despite saying she had to work.

I'd really rather her not say anything than to blatantly lie to my face. I guess in the same vein, I'd rather her not be with him at all. It's no wonder she wanted to remember my Dad the night before the anniversary of his death rather than the day of.

To her credit she did check in via text to see how I was doing. But the incident just stokes the fire. When does this get easier? I honestly thought I'd gotten to a point where it wouldn't get to me. I was determined not to let her actions dictate my feelings. But mix in the kids with lies and a SOB I can't hurt without it hurting me and I feel frustrated again. I'm not sure any amount of GALing would get me through that event without feeling the way I do now.

I'm glad I had the kids in church with me in the morning. The message began with an example of forgiveness, rather than righteous vengeance. I just keep getting tested the second I leave the protection and peace of the church. I'm going to need to find this peace throughout the week because it's all I can do to get to Sunday.

I'm beginning to doubt my desire to be around her on Thanksgiving. I'm taking all suggestions from those who must deal with the offending spouse on a daily basis.