It appears your mindset is going in the right direction. This is going to take a lot of time since you rightly said it took a lot of time to get where it is.
As far as your questions, and if we are to run with the idea of "doing what works", since she has shelved the Divorce paper, my suggestion is to leave the paper in your office (away from the house)
IMO, I'd continue what you are doing; don't bring up the separation or D.
Keep working on what YOU can do to improve what YOU see as your contributions to the state of the M and LET GO of trying to get any response from her.
You just do what you feel comfortable with FOR YOU and she will do what she does. Or doesn't.
She isn't the focus anynore. I know it's hard with her in your face but you simply have to take the focus off of her.
She will feel your 'attention" as pressure and/or pursuit.
The hug is fine if she is asking. But I wouldn't hold on too long. Be the first to let go.
My only other pointer other than the DB101 of no R talk ("I'm still thinking about this and won't talk about it right now")and listening/validating what she says, I woulld re-evaluate things like the movie invite.
If you are not really engaged with her (sitting apart) then I would propose finding something else to do UNLESS it's a movie YOU want to watch.
