May not have time to finish this post completely right now, but saw my IC today... Who is an addiction specialist.
He told me gambling addicts who go to Vegas don't go for the thrill of the big win, but for the excitement and anticipation... The fantasy.
He is having me separate the actual EA from my fantasy EA (Sooooo similar to what FMV went through). See, it's the fantasy that hooks you... Not the reality.
Also spoke about aspects of my H's personality that keep's him from fulfilling the love needs I have... And how the fantasy is filling up that void. What you are willing to go without in a R at 25 with kids, building a life, etc changes and now I'm seeking that closeness, affirmations that EA Fantasy fulfilled.
It's deep work, harder if EA doesn't respect distance, or worse... Dumps your W, because it makes her crave that more.
GW, I'm just learning myself... And yes, I miss OM alot, but mostly missing fantasy relationship not the reality. It's harder when my husband pushes me away or is disrespectful...
Having to stand up for myself alot now, to him and kids in order take care of myself. But in the long run... Figure I'm doing him a favor.
