lostlove - that is most definitely a good thing, let me work on the answers to your questions about how i propose to do this visualization thing and i will get back to you
pam - you ever hear the saying "there is nothing like a convert"? hehe, that is exactly what you have become, a convert to the db side - always asking for my positives because now you are the QUEEN of positives!!!
deb - thanks for the bump, i see you will be getting a few more BUMPS sooner than me! LOL
jeannine - thank you for that thought, and how true it is, it has taken me awhile to fully grasp the importance of that statement
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POSITIVES
1) hubby came home from work yesterday all excited because he had figured out what to do about sons project, they have to make an amusement park ride - well he was sitting down at the table with son and son was antsy about seeing it, and he told son, be patient and wait until kitti can come and see this with us so she can give us her input (huh??? he wants MY input????)
2) when he came home from work he gave me a hug. don't get too many come home hugs, but they are starting to get a bit more frequent
3) again, he asked about dinner, and said since the kids are sick that he would go grocery shopping by himself today, for me to make a list of what i wanted during the week so that when he comes home he can just shoot to the store (i guess i have him for another week at least! LOL)
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just journaling
last night i had taken the boys to our bible study (daughter was sick so hubby stayed home with her) and when i walked into the house i saw that hubby quickly closed down his yahoo messenger window he had opened and then his messenger.
i quickly felt sickened (both the ea and the pa had im's attached to it) and said kitti, this will not get you closer to your goal, just calm down.
i asked him quickly if he was talking to so and so (a friend in greece) cause i knew he was expecting to speak to him soon and he said no, he said he was handling a tech question (attached to his new business) and he was frustrated with the guy because he wasn't doing what he said to do. ok, that is good enough for me
i had a small amount of time that i wanted to play SNOOP - but i again talked myself out of that, cause in reality, i don't think anything is going on, i am just ASSuming.
it's funny how something in your day can really start those wheels turning in the wrong way and you head down a cheeseless tunnel
my sister called me yesterday and asked how everything was going, if hubby was doing ok and treating me right. i told her that things were ok, and she said, well is he on his medication? i said no, and she said, well is he working? i said yes he is (usually in the winter his mania dips into depression and he finds it hard to go to work) - i told her he is going to work every day and she told me, "is that really where he is?" - oh my god, i cannot believe she said that to me
then she told me i need to come home. i said sister, i am home. this is the path i have chosen and even tho you may not like it, this is my decision and this is my home. i cannot believe she pulled that
she wants me to come back to california - she wants me back with my exhusband who lives in the same city as she does
oh and my mom called monday and asked me how things were and told me that my husband was a jerk and he has committed the unforgiveable sin. well that just blew me - i told her, what was it i did back in 1991 to my first husband? i did the same damn thing, and mom, what was it you did to YOUR first husband
i cannot believe i pulled that out, but i did because it's like we are sinless and he isn't. je-sus - i feel like i am the only grown up here
anyway, those two conversations carried over into my feelings last night of lack of trust for my husband, and it wasn't warranted. he is home every single night - he is with his family and really giving me no reason to question his motives
