I'm not commenting on the OM's intentions, only how his wife PERCEIVES things. His W feels heard without judgment, which is the clue he needs to take. Do you really think his wife knows/believes it's about getting laid for the OM? (And maybe it isn't...we don't know him, and plenty of affairs are about legitimate attraction and emotional connection.)
My H was vulnerable for an EA because I didn't really listen to him without judgment. He found an ear and compassion (regardless of her motive, which was to make her feel better about herself b/c she was going through a D herself).
It's not what the OP's ACTUAL intentions are; it's how the OP makes our WAS *feel*. I paid attention to what my H said about our M and what my intel/what he said about the OW.
And my H actually did have an emotional affair. He was looking for a new partner, a wife who would be a good mother (which was on a list of his I found comparing the two of us as part of a decision making process). Maybe most men don't have emotional affairs, but several do. My H was smitten and lovesick.
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
