pam - it never takes you long eh??? HA!!! thanks for the reminders about the positives, been interested so much in other threads the last few days i completely forgot about my own...
cindy - thanks so much for that quotation, you know, i have read that a million times but never really applied it to the "power of positive thinking" - now that scripture has a whole new meaning for me!!! thank you so much
lovedone - thanks for visiting me, and for the encouraging words...i can only hope that i give back just a smidgeon to this board for all the wealth it has given me. i have been following your sitch, just haven't been commenting because you have such vets on there helping you out! LOL
yes our sitches are similar, but at least you get a little nookie, i haven't yet, and don't know if i will, and frankly, at this point don't care. if we are to ever have sex again it will have to be because my hubby desires me more than any other woman on earth...LOL
lostlove - i sure have fun with you ya know? i know you are in pain, and suffering with your sitch, but you really make a person think with your posts and such ...
i heard this story many many moons ago, and i have done some extensive research on this, and you know, the funny thing about it is that it is true. if you just do a small amount of research on some of the most successful people in the world (whether financial, emotional or whatever) you will see that they use this tool extensively to get where they are today
this is not so simple as the "power of positive thinking" - no, it's much more than that
i think i may just bring this up as a next point of discussion
***************************
POSITIVES
1) getting longer and longer morning hugs from hubby 2) hubby calls me 4 or 5 times during the day 3) we always are discussing dinner plans in the morning, which always means that he is planning on coming home!
***************************
just journaling
had the opportunity to talk to a couple of elders (what our church calls pastors) last night - i expained to them my dilemna about the whole sex thing - i approached it this way ...
i told them that i had recently made a firm decision to stand by my marriage, that i wasn't leaving and if anyone was gonna do the leaving it would have to be my husband
i told them that the alternatives were not acceptable to me.
i also told them that i worry about my husband. i told them that the reason he doesn't want sex is because he is not willing to committ to the marriage and he doesn't want to hurt me anymore than he already has by recommitting and then possibly doing wrong again in the future. and that he also wanted to have a way out in the future if i should ever decide to leave.
they asked me if i had forgiven him for the adultery, i told them i had. they told me that whether or not we "consumate" the marriage again, in the eyes of God that the marriage was in tact. that it would be something i would have to answer to God if at anytime in the future i decided to end the marriage. the "innocent" mate issue wouldn't apply at that time. in other words, neither one of us would have a "legal" (spiritual) right to remarry.
they shared with me many fine scriptures - but one thing they kept telling me was to trust in god (let go and let god, now where have i heard that before?) they did mention that it might seem like a cop out thing to say, but when i leave it in god's hands he can and will take care of it IN HIS TIME
ok, one scripture that really affected me strongly (ever hear of patience?) was 1 peter 5:6
Quote: 5:6 Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time
so yes, i have to learn patience and i have to practice patience
they told me that my husband does have his own issues that have nothing to do with me, and to quit thinking that i am to blame - i did tell them that i went thru that stage, but i am past that. they told me to continue on the road that i am on, because i can't help but be blessed by god in the end because i am doing the right thing - for my children and for my marriage, because "god hates a divorcing"
so again, i am feeling much better (it's kinda a good pma boost when you find out your doing right spiritually) - pma is up, and i will continue on this road - no if's, and's or but's
