On the surface she appeares to be going ahead with her planned D, and puts up a determined front. It hurts me to have to listen to her, knowing how messed up her head is.
Yesterday morn, she mentioned that after D17 goes off to college (not that we have the money) that we should sell the house and get a smaller one because it will just be me and S11. I didn't say anything except that we need to wait until the market is better. The D settlement and money aspect is on her mind.
It drives me nuts that she doesn't realize what a horrible mistake she could be making, and that all she has to do take a step back and consider the alternatives, MC for one.
To answer your question, I'm working on myself, but I'm not making changes just for change sake. I'm doing things that will make me happey and more upbeat. I admit I am still in that "fear" stage, afraid of the D, afraid of her trip to see OM, but getting past the fear is going to take time, I just have to navigate the stages and keep focused on my goals. Right now I can't even come up with a goal that involves living as a divorcee. That feels to me like giving up hope.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
