I am reading “The Places that Scare You” by Pema Chodron. I saw it recommended on this board somewhere or other. It is good, and very relevant to detachment.
Also, blocking all thoughts of my H is helping too. At first I only 'thought stopped' obsessive thoughts about the A, but expanding the subject to include my H entirely made a big difference.
I admit that am having a hard time separating out how to detach with love and my instinct to detach simply as a reaction to the pain and disappointment. My D's seems comfortable opening up to me about her time with daddy and that is making this harder.
She is the one persobn I won't tell to keep her information to herself. She is learning too much about lying and keeping secrets already. I'm not going to make her responsible for 'protecting' me from what is going on by asking her not to talk about it. Right now I really have to detach or I won't be able to function as a mom.
