Pie's Story - he's comfortable again

[Albuquerque]

Pie,

Go back to the original resources Cadet gave you and there's a link on detaching. That is crucial. Remember the mantras. MLC=confusion. They DON'T think straight. Making sense of it is impossible. And believe none of what they say and 50% of what they do. So again, lying is part and parcel of MLC. Accept it and move on. Understanding it is impossible and a waste of your valuable time.

I have been exactly where you are. Not knowing for sure if there was an OW but there were HUGE blinking signs saying yes. Accept it. He has an OW and it's probably a PA. Feel the pain, the betrayal the anger. I know it hurts like hell. Then after a week reevaluate yourself. Are you OK? As LBS, we can leave when we wish. The choice is yours. But if you still feel the M is worth saving, then you have to come to grips with the reality of the OW. Searching for clues, looking for evidence is only hurting you. Because you'll only find evidence that he's lying to you. Confronting your H is fruitless. Because it'll only cause him to lie more. I KNOW how tempting it is to find the truth. But you HAVE to stop. Because it's the only way you can find yourself.

You need to focus on yourself Pie. Nothing in your previous posts told me anything about what you're doing to improve yourself. What complaints did H have about you that you know were valid to some extent. We all have them. Work on those. Focus on those. But NOT to win H back. He has to find his own way out. But to find yourself. The peace you will find when you truly start to become your own person is like no other and you need to make that your goal.

((Pie))