Originally Posted By: Marmie
i refuse to coddle because i feel my self getting angry


You do not die from a snake "bite" you die from the poison.

If you feel like this then...
Originally Posted By: Marmie
so thats why i'm staying away for a while.


this ^^^^ is probably a good idea.

Look your husband's choices are his. They do not have to be a reflection of you.

BUT

Only you control that.

If you think you are coddling him by the advice given here then don't do it.

At some point you will have to reconcile your feelings about this and understand that people make choices. Good and bad.

It is up to you to determine how those choices effect you.

What will change? Do you think you will be able to understand what has happened in your marriage by running away from it?

Take yourself out of the emotion of all this.

Detach.

Get to a calm place and then...

When your head is clear and you are not making decisions or having convos with H filled with anger or other highly charged emotions...

You'll maybe see a different path.

I understand that you are hurt and feel betrayed.

From what I can see your H is very confused right now.

Confused?

Yes both of you are.

The prisons are full of people that acted on their emotions (nickel Coach)

Not a good place to play your ball from

... the rough of emotions.

You are in a place full of fear right now where we all have been.

Right now?

Probably not a good time to make decisions "in the moment" reactionary ones that you may regret later if they don't get you to your goals.

Which gets to me to goals.

What are your goals? What do you want to achieve?

My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am