feelings as OW seems to be on way out

[forward]

I should preface this by saying that I am continuing to write here because it's my attempt to understand the situation. Many of us try to ride out the MLC and understand it. For me it's not about reconciling or even that I am particularly concerned w/X at this point; it is about still trying to make sense of what might never make sense.

X talks with me more now; his very serious medical issues have made him thin and hunched over, and I do suspect he is lonely. OW appears to be completely gone but we'll see if she resurfaces over Thanksgiving and/or Christmas. It wouldn't surprise me that she needs a place to stay for a while. But even if she does, her apparent absence during what is really a pretty damn critical time seems to say a lot. X seems to spend most of his time alone in a dark house. He seems lonely but still cranky and defensive.

After some nasty and cutting remarks, I refused to let him in my house any more, either. When it comes to D, I have been kind and we have been cooperative. He also said he would never trust me because of the way I handled one aspect of our divorce; I don't really care at this point. I guess I do wish that X might open up and help me understand what happened but I don't think I see that happening. He has seemed downright desperate at times in terms of his situation, and I've tried to be nice.

I have mentioned New Guy to him a few times. He actually did introduce himself to New Guy.

For me, things have been going fairly well, although I am worn out from lack of help w/D. New Guy is very kind and I could see a future with him, although I am not sure if he is THAT interested. Have been feeling a little insecure with him lately.