I don't post anymore, and when I did, it was very sporadic. As I said, I got so much conflicting advice that it was doing me more harm than good, because I did not have the self-confidence to decide what would be best for ME.
Besides that, I cheated on my H long into all of this...and to some people (C_K, I mean Allen), that makes me someone that no one should ever listen to.
Funny thing, I have a lot of perspective to offer. And, I am in the middle of really healing the relationship with my XH. Every once in awhile, if something really resonates with me, I stick my neck out again.
I did it here because I remember how I, too, was paralysed by the conflicting advice. Finally, JTB got ahold of me and made me see that being a good person and being nice was never going to hurt matters, that I just had to make sure that I set and kept certain boundaries. I guess I didn't understand at the time that you can set boundaries with love. All the ones I had set at that point were out of hurt and anger (no wonder they didn't work!)
I am sure you can go all the way back and read my old threads. Just please understand that I have come a long way in my life, and would never ever repeat the mistakes of the past.
I know that not one size fits all; I am only sharing what worked for me. And yes, after many false starts and mix-ups, it is working. And I will say a prayer of thanks when my whole family (yep, XH too) is around the table in four more days.
