It is also the whole "this is so unfair" type of thinking that allows us to become the victim if we are not careful.
This is an opportunity for you, to know that this is all stuff that you can handle on your own. Realizing that we don't NEED another person in our life, especially when we have always had someone, can be liberating, and has the potential to change the way you view relationships.
Maintaining a friendly R with you S will benefit the children, shows him that you are still the "safe" place, and may benefit you in the future.
There is a fine line between being too available and letting them know you are still there.
I am confident that you can find that line.
Thanks, cat, I think I neeeded to hear that. I am proud of all the things I am accomplishing on my own, it's just hard not to be angry at the same time.
I spent a lot of time with my MIL this weekend. She says H never says anything bad about me, and always uses a friendly tone when he does talk about me now. She told me to be patient and stall as much as I can, because H isn't happy on his own right now and she thinks he might change his mind. (I think she's probably engaging in wishful thinking, but I do that too.)
Saw H yesterday at D's dance recital. I was having a lot of fun with S, dancing to the music, while H looked tired and wasn't really enjoying himself. He did call me over to look at pictures he had taken of the kids (photography is his hobby), and I praised the ones I liked. I mentioned he looked tired and he volunteered more about what was going on there. He did not want to take any more boxes with him last night because he was too tired; this morning I got a spreadsheet from him with an analysis of what we've both spent since he moved out. I'm not going to discuss that with him this week - it's time to enjoy the holiday and he can be patient.
I ran into friends at the recital, and one offered to come with me to zumba classes after Thanksgiving. I think both the social setting and the exercise will be good for me (and yes, my house is about spotless - I clean when I'm upset too).
