Just got back from picking up the kids at wife's place. When I arrived one of the girls told me that Mom wanted me to wait for her to come back, she was dropping D13 somewhere. D16 told me what was going on and apparently D13 is acting like a teenager and Mom is not liking it...and who really does when that happens!So, wife comes home and goes over D13's irresponsibility, breaking of rules e.g. be in bed by midnight, excessive phone, texting and internet use...well, I'm sure you guys know how it goes. So she has taken D13's cell phone away and given her rules like no internet after 8:00pm, no going to friends after school, being in bed by 10:00 pm. Apparently D13 was up at 2:30 am talking to friends loudly on speaker and woke everyone else in the house up last night. Obviously wife was not happy with my response. I reminded her that D13 is a teenager and we went through the same stuff with her sister. She needs boundaries and we need to work together to come up with appropriate ones. I said that I had no problem with her losing phone for a week and not going to friends after school for a week but we need to discuss how she can earn these things back, our job is to teach her. Wife went on about "I know about being rational but I'm upset right now. It's easy for you to just sit there and be rational about it all but I'm sick and tired" Then she went on about how stressful her life is blah blah blah. Sorry, if she wants me to sit there and carry on about "poor you" then she's got the wrong guy! She chooses her life situation and too bad if her children are adding to her stress...tough titty! I held my temper, stayed rational (which she hates) and told her that I was quite wiling to enforce the rules she was saying but in a week, when she is feeling more "rational" we could discuss it again. I then asked for D13's cell phone, wife didn't want to give it to me. I said "she is with me next week and it's my job to decide whether she gets it or not. There may be a reason I decide she needs it for a certain period" Wife says "I hope it's not just because she wants it" I said no it would not be. She then gave me the phone. We both did agree that it is important that we have similar rules in both our homes. I have no problem disciplining an out of control teenager but I am also not going to pummel the kid because her mom feels upset. I'm kind of proud, I was afraid I'd lose it with wife but I was in complete control and it ended as well as could be expected. Again, it's times like this when I realize she hasn't changed a bit in three years. She expects the kids to take care of her and, God forbid, they act like kids and force her to act as a parent! Ooh, I'm so rational and, in wife's mind, that's bad. Anyway, I came out of it unscathed.
