Congratulations on your new job! YEAH!!!! In this economy it speaks volumes about you that you were offered this position. I hope that you get a nice raise too that will help ease any financial pressures that you might have in the wake of H's departure.
I always look forward to reading Sanderika's wisdom. She gives such wonderful feedback! Sanderika, thank you for sharing.....and glad to hear that you are feeling positive about your current interactions with H.
Originally Posted By: Sanderika
Cas, I think your H is doing this. I think he knows exactly how good it is at home. I think he is cautiously testing the water without getting too close. He is comfortable enough to take a recipe book and didn't behave selfishly. He gave you a container of soup!! In a sense of MLC selfishness....you would not have been one he would have shared it with.
BTW, I hope it was delicious and you thanked him and told him so (if it was, that is). This would be a very good opportunity and situation to validate him and make him feel appreciated.
It seems very significant the H left you a gift of the pumpkin soup he made. If I recall correctly, you and H talked about recipes in the past. Is it possible that this is a thread between the two of you that you can use to grow closer? The holidays are a perfect time for this. There are a number of research studies reporting that cinnamon is an aphrodisiac for men so maybe you can keep this scent in your home or bake or cook with cinnamon when H is around.
Are there any foods/scents that would remind H of wonderful family times together? (This is an advantage that OW doesn't have.) Scents activate a very primitive part of the brain (the limbic system) to trigger old memories of times in the past when a person smelled those scents.........Would H ever cook WITH you on one of those weekly dinners together? That could be an opportunity to set the mood with scent and do some flirting. Perfect opportunity to spoon feed H a taste of this or that for flavoring (e.g. "Do you think this needs more salt?"), wipe his mouth with a tissue or your finger, lick your lips and make soft "Oohs" and "Aahs" like you would if you were having $ex with your H............Think about it.........
On my thread I posted about my session with Jody yesterday. I think there are some nuggets in there for you too.
In your case, the holidays will also bring interactions between H and MIL, so that may create some turbulence too. Make sure to take care of yourself. We're all here for you.
YEAH!!!! In this economy it speaks volumes about you that you were offered this position. I hope that you get a nice raise too that will help ease any financial pressures that you might have in the wake of H's departure.