Barb, My thoughts and prayers are with Ryan and your family. I hope that they can find out what is causing Ryan's problems. I'm glad to see that your XH is visiting with Ryan and he's acting civil.
Please take care of yourself as well.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.