It clarifies the difference in using what I would call tactics which focus on the outcomes and inherently have expectations tied to them...
And actaully making real changes in yourself and letting go of someone who chooses something different than what you want at the moment.
If the tactics that we employ initially work to bring the spouse back...
Then the hard part begins. Because IMO unless the LBS has had an opportunity to work through the fear that erupts from the tragedy of being left behind then they MAY be accepting the old M back at very high cost to the M.
AND themselves.
That may bare out in the piecing part. And actually get to the goal of saving the M if both partners are comitted to looking at themselves and the M and making changes.
What is described above is the real goal of the LBS.
The long term goal.
Which can save the LBS and then God willing
The Marriage.
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
