Well, H certainly hasnt given me much to go on, so I guess I know where this is going now...
Just thinking how things confuse the living daylights out of me. Tired of trying to figure it out, so I'm just going to stop now. Its using up too much energy.
2 weeks ago, after all the emails and finding out about OW's, and him saying he wants to think a bit first, that Sat morning he phones to ask how we are(never does that)and offers up info of times etc his hike etc...cant remember sunday, but weekend was okish.
Then during the week more emails, him openeing up and offering to talk about reconcil. I say I'd like to, then he says he wants to think. That friday night, goes off camping again, poss OW there too, spends Sat there - comes in briefly on Sat eve to collect S, then out.Sunday off overseas business for the week.
Does his usual txting that he's landing/takingoff along the way. Monday night txts "Night night, hope you are both well, will try call tomorrow" - this is different behaviour - he never says 'night night', the old him used to.
Tuesday morn he calls to talk to S, and Wed morn - whole time talking like we are a family and how many sleeps are left, and just generally behaving like the old H, laughing joking,normal, comfortable. Thursday nothing, and coming back friday he txts when he lands, asks to fetch S, i say yes ofcourse, fetches S from school at 4pm, keeps him at the office and offers to bring him home, come home with him at about 7pm, very grumpy and tired. Usually is after overseas trip. After a few min of normal convo about arb stuff about office stuff and catching up, he asks a question that requires me to think a bit (to do with my work), and he gets impatient with my 'umming' and gets aggressive and raises his voice and says 'for gods sake just give me the answer'. Now the reason he was asking about it was becasue he actually wanted something good for me(dont want to give deatails), so I know his intentions were good, but he lost his patience with me.
And I just looked at him puzzlingliy and carried on cooking supper. Then he appologised and said sorry hes just tired and can I please give him a rough answer....so i did, but I was a bit peeved at his outburst, so i stayed quiet after that, and he can sense this straight away, and says 'now don't be like that.'
I said 'I'm not being like anything' , and tried to change the subject and we kind of glazed over it and carried on talking.
He only stayed for about 15 mins in total, and then went home saying he was tired.Instead of bathing S, which he's beong doing for the past couple weeks - felt like he was trying to get closer to his old family life.
Oy vey. And now...
Then yesterday morning, Sat, he hadnt given me any idea of his plans, and he usually does, so that was immediatly different, so I sent him a txt saying 'you waiting for an invite? your presence is being requested :)' - Cause he had mentioned he wanted to see S . So He txts back saying 'Not going to make it today, got some things to sort out, rain check?'
And that was it. The last time he was mysterious like this was when he was with OW overseas
So I got the message, and thought, ok so now I know your decision then, thats fine I can move forward from here.
So I txt back and say 'no prob I need to talk about xmas and S, my parents want me to fly to them , are you ok with that, then u can have S next xmas'. I said this so that he could understand , that i understand where we are now, and that i got his 'in between the lines' message that he doesnt want to talk, or try.
So then he txts back 'can we talk about dates?' me : 'sure:) you want to call?' no response for a long time. then I txt him ;'you ok, you sounds weird?' him : 'no just tired and grumpy, was hoping to have xmas with S, can we talk about it' me:'sure, can i call u, its too much txting' then he calls FLAT grumpy voice, cold. Says he wanted to spend xmas with S, and would really appreciate it if parents came here rather. he'd pay. I said, I'd ask them, and let him know, and thats all fine. He asked to see S on Sun , I said ofcourse .I asked if he was ok again, he said yes, i said has something changed in the past week becasue you are behaving very differently?(I'm tired of these games). He said no, he's just tired. So I said, ok, just worried about you.(I am- the whole commiting suicude thing last year makes me worry sometimes too)
Call ended there.
So I txt back saying parents are ok to come down, and say they will be glad to see him. I asked if hes ok with that. Also said they sent him a bday card I keep forgetting to give him.And his idea to take S swimming was good he loved it.
He txted back with two smiley faces....which he never does. Which means mega happy I suppose.and Said thank you so much with lots of exclamation marks. Said hed pay for their trip, and was so happy to hear about the swimming and then another smiley face.
Have never ever gotten a txt with so many smileys and exclamations before.
So I txt back saying yes S is a real water baby.
And he txts back 'Bless him :)'
So thats how it ended..
no calls or anything yet.
Why phoned every morning when you are overseas to speak to your S, then come home, and not see or speak to him for two days?
Am I missing something?
I'm sooo tired of this. busy making a list of the things I want changed for our proper sep/D...so sad and tired
I need to talk about xmas and S, my parents want me to fly to them , are you ok with that, then u can have S next xmas'. I said this so that he could understand , that i understand where we are now, and that i got his 'in between the lines' message that he doesnt want to talk, or try.