it's too late. after the book destruction, i did leave the house without trying to talk any more to him. i went to my friend's house who is married and i was so upset. i should have just went to the raddisson. anyway, when i got there, they could see how upset i was and her h let us have private time to talk. i told her h was watching inappropriate stuff on the MAC, but didn't go into detail about the kind it was. i was sobbing by this time and she was very comforting and was shocked, but not really as disgusted as i am. so i told her what happened with the book and that shocked her more so she made up the bed in the guest room. she said she wanted me to stay the night so h and i could both cool off for a bit. i was so glad not to be in the house with h so i stayed. i got up this morning and i felt embarrassed because i don't know how much she told her h about us. so around noon, i went home to face the music. i guess i still was in denial and that we could somehow fix this. like maybe he missed me and we have never spent a night apart before this. i walk in the house and he is on the MAC again. i turned the computer off so we could talk for a minute without him looking at that smut and he pushed me out of the room, locked the door, and so then he's watching that disgusting stuff in our home and laughing at me! so he's all defiant now. so i grabbed a few things and left again and went to the raddisson. i can't sleep and have been googling on my laptop about sex addictions. i need sleep because i have to cover a shift for someone at work tomorrow morning. there's no way i can get out of it. but i want to try to get off early to go home before h does. oh, im so tired.
