It's enabling behavior and it frustrates me to see that this type of counseling stuff gets posted here still. Why thank her for a George W. Bush "Mission Accomplished" marriage? The marriage wasn't supposed to end. Sorry to sound so gruff but what message does this send?
I agree with above. A 'softer' "wish you a Merry Xmas" or "enjoy the day" is perhaps a smidge more appropriate.
Think.
Supporting you.
FIB
Marriages do end and they are never "supposed" to but unfortunately life ain't fair! The question now for CTH is how does he build a co-operative parenting R with his ex and what kind of man does he want his children to see. A gift is not "enabling", the marriage is over. A gift is a respectful recognition of the mother of his children at Christmas. It says to the kids "this is the way adults should treat each other"...that's it. Again, a gift like a framed picture of the kids reinforces what he and his ex still have in common, that's appropriate, in my mind anyway. I dont' think a gift is essential but I certainly don't think it's a bad thing either. Btw, I also think having different opinions expressed on this BB is a good thing, there shouldn't be a party line to tow!
