Fix me, fix my life, win back my wife

[ScaredinCanada]

Ok, I've had some set backs since talking to my parents. Of course my W has wanted to engage a lot to talk about "what exactly my parents said". I'm starting to see this is an even bigger issue than I believed.

My mother and my W have some major trust issues which I'm not sure will ever be resolved and will likely be the true reason my marriage ends.

I got angry at times and told my W that she isn't even trying to see the changes in me and that she's stuck in the past. Which I told her I cannot change it. She made sure to mention it numerous times "that she just doesn't love me anymore", and she's "not sure I've even acknowledge that she's told me she doesn't love me".

Although I don't believe she has cheated again or that she's seeing anyone in any way...I struggle with the fact that this is just soemthing that has built up and nothing actually triggered it. I think there maybe some sort of EA in some sort of way - she's seen someone who is very happy and in love or she's hearing someone saying how in love they are...or possibly there is someone who's caught her eye.

She's very pushy about me going out, she makes me suspicious. She says she's just trying to let me do things that make me happy...

I really think this maybe it. Although I'm not sure how she see's it ending??? I'm trying constantly to be a better person, but I don't think it matters to her.

I'm still not sure how to be happy, and I'm not sure if I ever will - especially if I loose my family.

I'm going to try and not pursue her anymore...but it is so so so difficult...

I've been trying to talk myself out of loving her...so that it won't hurt so bad when she leaves or asks me to leave...she's planned a trip with her mother in February...so unless she justs expects me to move out...I don't see our situation changing until...which I guess is something to be happy about.