Is there any reason to hope - yet another one

[Harrier]

I appreciate that True and to some extent you are right.

I guess it just frustrating at times. in the end, you can't make someone love you and you can't make someone stay - no matter how great you become for them. They have to make that choice. Yes you have some power in this, but ultimately you can be at their decision.

I think for me I'm making changes that needed to be made to get me back to where I was. but honestly, I didn't chose to have depression, but I'm working to deal with it. I did some crazy stuff these past few months. I know that. I want to get back to where I was mentally. My hope is that if I make those changes for me, then W will decide that she wants to be with me.

But I think to some extent we start making those changes because our spouse dropped a bomb. Think about it how many tales here begin with the LBS only looking at making changes once the "bomb" is dropped. Personally, I started making those changes before my "bomb" was dropped (not to toot my own horn).

In the end it's a process. It didn't take a week to unravel a marriage and it's not going to take a week to put it back together. I look at it like my marriage is a brick wall. A wrecking ball hit that wall and knocked it down. Now you have to start rebuilding piece by piece from the bottom up. You can't build it overnight and each person has to do their part.