How do I deal with now he's overseas?

[ericmsant2]

Piano

I am a slow learner. This is all new to me.

Everyone learns at a pace that is comfortable for them, so please cut yourself some slack. FTR, many of us are still learning.

How far do I need to go searching for this answer?

Sometimes Piano we may never actually get the answer from our batchit crazy spouses. The only answer that we need to focus in IMHO, is…

1) Why have we tied our own happiness to someone else?
2) Why does FEAR cause us to do thing that we know are unhealthy?
3) What do we really want in our life that we can control?
4) Why do we tend to be codependent on other people?
5) What role did our childhood play in some of our behaviors?
6) What kind of parents do we want to be?
7) What really makes us happy?
8) Etc.

I guess my point is that we should focus our energies and thoughts on ourselves and our lives.

I am prepared to own this.

Own YOUR piece not his

So much harder to look at ourselves

OMG! Yes it is. Here ^^^ is where we truly find and accept ourselves. It is soooo not easy to do this. Think about it for a sec…how many times do we lie to ourselves? How many times have we done something that we really did not want to do? How many times did we wear a mask? How many time were we afraid to be OURSELFs? Yes, Piano, the internal searching/digging is tough. The rewards thought are wonderful. It is truly unfortunate that it takes a crisis to move us into this direction BUT man is it worth it.

Piano, if you really begin to look inside you may find things about yourself that really hurt. Things that you will not want to really look at. FACE’em! You will never be the same, once you do.

As for your H, let him go and leave him in God’s hands for know. Nothing you do can make him change. Nothing. Nothing you do can make him do something that he does not want to do. What you can do is by your actions….show him what “love” really is. Love of yourself, love of others, tough love, true love.

Hey Mach – nice tutu comment

God Bless,
Eric