You should talk and come clean about the situation to your closest girlfriends /sisters and get it off your chest to a group of girls that know you best.
They are going to give you the best advice on how to handle this going forward because they personally know you and your husband. They are going to give you a very different and realistic perspective. They will be honest with you and will probably tell you all the behaviors in your husbands that you have overlooked "because you were in love" that may make this no surprise to them.
and, hopefully. they will get you on the right track to having a good time and "getting out and enjoying life for yourself." what you are willing to put up with says a lot your own values.
