I havent posted in ages. lots doing in my life as well which i might post in near future. our life circumstances are the same (unfortunately) although some differences: 5 kids not 3, OM (2nd one actually!!) also married w/ 4 kids, but thankfully lives >1000 miles away now. i exposed on Labor Day Monday this year. My W had EA/PA, and the WAS basically all say same things. denied, denied, denied to no end. have since gotten some admissions but minimal. denies contact. have been in limited communication with OM and had lots w/ OMW. ugh.
as Coach (another banned one) used to say, hope for the best but plan for the worst (to paraphrase). it has only been over a week for u so a lot of this is heart wrenching and new to a degree. ur W is NOT in her right mind. as MWD has said numerous times, do not believe 100% of what she says and only 50% of what she does. it is a very good sign that ur W has been forthcoming w/ details. when she says that she's ended it, take that w/ a grain of salt. u never know.
this is all based on quicksand. it is also a rollercoaster. ur W (and mine) are aliens. they are not the woman we married, but then again u and I have changed, no? except we have not clouded our brain with the A. pick up Shirley Glass "Not Just Friends." only now am i reading it. awesome is the one word description. eye opening. it will help in the coming days, weeks and months (perhaps next 1-2 y). u need to ask yourself, "do i love this woman?" "how far am i willing to go?" our children are very much a real consideration here.
there is so much more i could post but just know that we are all here on the board for one another. take heart amigo. sandi has been especially helpful to me with her insights bc she was a WAS herself. heed her advice.
can say with certainty that WAS's are blinded by their affairs. Allen (one of the "banned" ones who previously posted here) was correct in saying that their brains are flooded by PEA's or the various chemicals and neurotransmitters in the brain that make it feel good when u r involved in a newly minted romantic pairing/bonding. it CANNOT compare to the attachment and relationship that u have with ur W. unfortunately she cannot see that clearly bc she is clouded by her A. does she think that this OM, who's single w/ no real responsibility, is going to run away with her and ur kids 50% of the time? what fantasy world is she living in? if u look at the facts of the A, u will see that under the cold, harsh light of truth there are so many things wrong about it that makes it completely NOT viable. won't last. absolutely. single guy wants 3 kids? yeah right. LOL.
look at my sitch. father of 4 wants my 5 too? WTF are these people smoking? there is a ludicrousness to it all. so take heart that u r starting off in a good place hopefully, but do not buy what she is trying to sell without some caution. continue working on yourself. be that dad you always wanted to be. my shortcoming was also in my parenting. i know THAT now. am working on it and other things as result. it will pay dividends with her or without her. in time u have to be able to tell yourself that you can go on with her bc u WANT to be with her, but u can go on without her bc u do not NEED to be with her. be that man u were when u first met and fell in love. be a better u for u. i know it sounds corny, but it is soooo true.
BTW cannot imagine that u, Faith and I all have wives with the same first name? wow. maybe there is something in a name?
