New here, looking for help.

[MisterHopeful]

Hi, 3 weeks ago my WaW said ILYBNILWY, I knew things had been off for a while, but kinda waived it off as hormones and stuff since giving birth, stresses at work, etc... instead of working on those problems, i turned to online gaming as my solice. She's been talking about D a lot. I recently discovered this site and the 1st chapter provided matched my scenario perfectly. From the WaW to the friends offering advise to me being completely caught off guard. We had a rocky first couple of years, but have been married 11. In our first couple of years my wife cheated on me and I filed for D. She begged me to come back and forgive her, I did but kept a cautious eye open.
Fast forward to now and we have two young children. Decent amount of debt, and an unhappy wife. Truth be told, I've been somewhat unhappy too, but definitely wasn't thinking along the lines of divorce. I immediately sought a marriage counselor and we had our first session last week. I'd say it went so-so.
I'd also immediately gone into the begging, pleading & pursuing mode. After finding this website, and just got the book, sounds like the begging/pleading/pursuing isn't the path I should be taking. I was already on a diet, so I kicked that up a notch. And i've started exercising. I'm also gaming a WHOLE lot less that I was before and just generally working on getting me to be a better me and dropping a lot of my bad habits I know have been under her skin a while.
We've talked a lot more than we have in a long while, i'm discovering i've missed my friend and I've neglected her. She says there's nobody else, that she couldn't do that to me again , especially with the kids. But there's a small part of me that really wonders.
We grew to sleep in seperate rooms over time, b/c of my sleep apnea with my loud snoring.
At this point/stage i've halted all emails/txts/phone calls unless i'm contacted first. But like yesterday... when she walked in she was visibly upset and went to her room. She didn't come out of her room for a while and I went to check on her. I asked her why she was laying in bed and she started sharing all the details of what a bad day she'd had. A client had basically called her stupid. So i sat and listened and confirmed what a jerk her client was. This is a daily thing, her sharing her day and complaining about what went on at work that day. I know it's her way of destressing and I've always been a good listener so that's never been an issue. Plus I find the drama at her work kinda interesting.
We dont have arguments or fights or anything. She says I just dont love her like I should and she doesn't love me like she should and that she's just tired of trying / faking it. We live like roomates/friends, we might as well just be friends. I love my wife, I dont want to lose her but I've come to terms that that might be what happens.
I haven't got far enough into the book yet to know exactly what I need to start doing. Kinda read a few threads here to get a general idea. But I'm really not sure how to handle things coming up, like the week after next we have off together, the whole week, she's been talking about things she'd like to do, like go see the Harry Potter movie together, go to our French Restaurant together, do some shopping, etc... i'm not sure what I'm supposed to do there given what i've read so far in other threads. She's also expressed interest in playing the online game with me that was such a huge time sink/problem for me... i'm just not sure how to read all this and earlier tonight she asked me if my company was having an Xmas party and I said I wasn't sure. To which she replied, "well if you do have one dont count on me going b/c your boss knows about whats going on with us...". I told her I'd intended to go to her Xmas party this year if she'd allow and she basically said "What's the point?"
So many mixed signals... where to go from here...