BR: I have done those things myself. The showing off and whatnot. She is desperately trying to get your attention. I find that, when it's been a while, I start doing ridiculous things like bending over a LOT more than is necessary, my walk gets this crazy sashay going on. Just really silly stuff. But I am emotionally starting to freak out and I need something, anything, from him. I rarely get it when I do these things but I haven't learned that lesson yet. I'm workin on it.
So I think she reaches out to you, trying to get your sexual attention. When she doesn't get it, she panics and picks a fight with you. She is angry that she doesn't have the ability to stir something in you. But she can't fight about THAT so she will find something else.
BR, you know your wife better than anyone else. What would melt her and get you two in the sack? Could you tell her that you have a surprise for her that evening, then wait up and have a drink made for her (she will need it and so will you) and some candles lit? If that is too risky, what about this: When my husband and I were fighting about this a lot, and he would sense me pulling back from him, he would come up to me and give me this long bear hug. He would not let me go when I tried to pull away. Eventually I would feel myself melting into him. Something about that physical closeness made it hard to continue with the attitude. Also, the physical closeness allowed our bodies to take over; our minds couldn't control everything any longer. So maybe just ask her for a hug and then don't let her go? Tell her you aren't done yet.
