Right now I want to sort what is worth keeping of the old me and what needs to change drastically. Self knowledge is a goal of mine that I have neglected in the past. I know that sometimes I sound arrogant and I have to explore how much of that is true. One thing I have identified in me is that I have an irrational fear of rejection. I always have and I can't quite explain why. I causes me to reject people before they have a chance to reject me. I am afraid to give because I can't handle the rejection of my gift. I am afraid to ask for what I want or to even identify what I want because I can't take "no" for an answer. If I were to generalize my fear I would say that it is really fear of failure. And what I am slowly realizing is that the only thing to fear is fear itself (yes, I know Roosevelt). So another of my goals is to overcome my irrational fears I also need to manage my ADD and OCD effectively. Depression is temporary for me, not chronic, but it bothers me a little bit that it goes away with the Zoloft without much effort on my part. Another goal that is part of my GAL is to reconnect with my old friends and make new ones, but the rejection thing is a big obstacle here.
Me 39 W 37 S 5 D 2.75 Married 12 years Together 14 years Bomb Dropped 08/16/10
