BR update. It's colder in my house than it is outside. W has taken to banging doors when she comes in the room in the morning and leaving lights on. She even went as far as to turn off the coffee maker before she left for work. It's safe to say she's not happy with me. I deserve some of it I reckon.
What scares me is the kids reactions to this. They are asking why is mommy trying to make me look bad in front of them and what's wrong with her. They can see the depression going on as I can. W got a call while the kids were around asking her to come in. She said give her all the time they can because she doesn't want to be around me. One of the kids even mentioned a monetary figure from our conversation. She's telling them too much. Now, the boy has said he would rather live with me if I move and would "take moves" to be with me. The girl told me the other day she would run away to be with me or just run away. I wish W could see what this is causing.
To top things off, I bumped into a friend who is having problems with his W. They are separated. I suspect he's done some not so nice things. Anyway, he tells me they are talking and are going to try and work things out. I gave him my copy of DB. I'll keep DR for myself. This will make 3 couples who have had DEEP problems that are hanging on. One includes and affair with a child being born. But my W at this point doesn't seem to want to even consider it.
She did say the other day that she noticed I was different and not so moody over the past couple months. She said she was cool coming home knowing I wouldn't be on edge. I told her that's part of my change I'm working on. She sat there and said she needs a man to show her he cares. She went back to the you haven't shown me thing.
I try to hate her but it doesn't hold. I saw her Christmas sweater sitting on the bed and it brought back memories of her loving Christmas and not being able to wait to wear it and her holiday socks. I took a whiff just to smell her and started to cry. This time last night, I couldn't stand her. I keep looking over my shoulder at our wedding pictures wondering why she hasn't taken them down yet.
A couple nice ladies on the job are praying for us tonight in there prayer group. That kind of stuff means a lot to an old heathen like myself.
