BR: I would want my husband to be aggressive and tell me that he won't take no for an answer. I would want him to demonstrate that he could NOT wait for the perfect moment and that he was sick of waiting anyway. I would want him to show that his desire for me was so great that nothing was going to stand in his way of attaining his goal.
Here's my opinion: I think you should email her or call her or whatever your primary way of reaching her is and say, "I want to make love to you tonight. I have been wanting you so badly the last couple months and I don't want to wait any longer. I need you and I need to make love to you."
Blackie, there is a very good chance that she will reject you. There is also a very good chance that it will be a new start. I just don't see how you can make a fresh start until you get the sex back on track. Be honest with her about what led to the decline of your love life--resentments. Make sure that she knows that, at no time, did it have anything to do with your desire for her. Oh and don't have this conversation on the night you're putting the Big Kahuna moves on her. But make sure she knows that.
Well, the biggest thing I can tell you is to let her know that you want to rekindle things. You want and need a sex life with her. That this has taken a backseat, you have no idea what you were thinkin, but you want to start over. She will be skeptical but you can make her believe it. I believe my H with all my heart now, Blackie, but there was a time when I would have scoffed at the thought.
Once you have gotten the sex thing rollin, then start on the second job. Leave it be for now. Sounds like she needs it for whatever crummy reason.
GOOD LUCK. I am so pulling for you, man. I know that you have had a genuine change of heart towards your sex life and she just needs to open her eyes and her heart and allow herself to believe that it's true.
P.S. I'm so glad you started posting because I am now starting to see that when H initiates in a lackluster way that it is his own fear, and not that his desire for me is only so-so. Which is what I have previously thought: Oh he must not want me very much. You are helping me more than you know! But not for long cause pretty soon you're going to be doing your wife every which way but loose and I won't be able to keep up.
