TG is right. Talking to him about it in a compassionate manner is not "coddling". The guy already feels embarrassed enough and if you start bringing in outside people, etc. it's going to push him even further inward.
According to the dictionary Bond that's exactly what coddling means
cod·dle   /ˈkɒdl/ Show Spelled [kod-l] Show IPA
–verb (used with object), -dled, -dling. 1. to treat tenderly; nurse or tend indulgently; pamper: to coddle children when they're sick.
His behavior so far is listed by marmie as the following :
a. He has done this in secret, effectively lying by ommision b. He refused to stop c. He knows he's hurting you d. He's laughing at you
Far be it for me to raise the alarm that abuse is taking place here or will soon.
Given that, I think coddling (to treat tenderly; nurse or tend indulgently) is asking the victim to please the abuser here... Do you really think that's wise? Somone is being abused and you advise the victim to coddle her tormentor?
But, heck, I'm not a social worker by trade... so I will just leave it at that...
Carry on fellas... I won't interfere any further...
