When she does, you need to be in a position to handle the conversations better....
Validate her concerns and just listen to her. Much knowledge of how she feels can be obtained from that. Don't think about your response while she is talking....
Believe about half of what she is saying, and I say that because, you have to account for the things that "sting" you, or make you say....Wow, I DID do that...
Half because that is her truth right now....
Seek to understand, and you will be understood....
I will ask Cadet to post the link to Validating, here for you to read....
Originally Posted By: InAPickle
She actually suggested we get the D and settle who gets what and then still pretend to be M for the sake of the kids until they're older. Can you effing believe that?
Actully ????
Nothing you say will surprise too many of us that have been here a while.....so yes, I believe that is the way she is thinking right now.
Not a healthy arrangement for you or the children.
Bottom line is ?
Her choice=her move.
Look, I know in the beginning, most feel that the move out is the end...
Ever have a fight in the 6th grade with your best friend over a marble ?
You each get pissed and go to your corner of the world for a few weeks, then after sometime has passed, you meet on the playground and wonder why you didn't play marbles anymore?
Yea.....kinda like that....
Don't let fear rule you making decisions that are best for you and your children right now.
If it doesn't SOUND healthy for your children ?
Don't put them or yourself in that situation....
Originally Posted By: InAPickle
I've heard of married parents living seperately, but divorced parents living together pretending. The woman is not thinking rationally.
