I'm going to say something that you are not going to want to hear. If it's possible, you need to find a way not to deploy. Your marriage is damaged and you need lots of time to repair it. Long periods apart will make this much more difficult, if not impossible. You need to strengthen and maintain the connection between the two of you. That feeling of being connected is what makes couples survive the hard times. If the connectedness is not there, even minor problems can spell disaster. You need to be with her or find some way to keep her feeling connected while you are gone. That is no small feat.
